1. Always trust your gut instinct. If it doesn’t feel right, look right or smell right—run. Don’t look back. Just go.
2. Try everything on. That’s true of clothing, lovers, exercise, diets, underwear, especially underwear. There may be nothing worse than ill-fitting panties. Wait, I lied—socks that slip into your boots and bunch up at the bottom, that’s the worst.
3. You are a constantly evolving beast; remember this when deciding who you want to be and what you what you want to do with the rest of your life. Who and what you are today may be completely different in a month, and that’s OK.
4. Trust that you can guide yourself to always live your best life possible. Knowing that change is inevitable makes it awesome.
5. Dye your hair pink. Because why not?
6. Be bold. Make political statements. Be unwavering. Just do the appropriate research to back up your loud mouth.
7. Don’t shave or wax anything on your body because somebody else thinks it looks better.
8. Never let a bigger ego out-ego you. You’re the tits. Bite back.
9. Always wash your face before bed, and while you’re at it, use a moisturizer and lip balm.
10. Don’t fight aging; it’s a losing battle.
11. Invest in the best you can afford.
12. Live within your means. Credit cards are a trap. Cash is queen.
13. Move—all the time. Lift weights; do pilates; walk. Understand what Kegels are; learn how to use them, and surprise the shit out of your lover.
14. Fluctuate, ‘cause it’s healthy. Gain weight, lose weight, gain 10 pounds back, lose 15 more and then gain some back. Then gain the knowledge that it doesn’t matter. Learn to love and accept your body for what it is today, not what it was or what you imagine it could be. Be fat, be thin, be whatever you want, but definitely don’t let these things define you.
15. Spend some time working in a restaurant. At least once. You will learn everything you need to know and then some.